wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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