found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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