her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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