Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you would pick up someone in the library
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
