It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish you could order shots online.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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