even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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