It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
