I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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