i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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