stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
