What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
wow bdsm is so cute
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
