Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
