My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
