How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
