My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
17 year olds will be the death of me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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