I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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