She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
