just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Vodka?
Forever.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
