Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
