I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
