Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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