if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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