it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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