I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
