I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
