took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
organizing the empties. That sober.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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