That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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