I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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