she told me i tasted like america
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
