Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
