I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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