All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
