You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
