$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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