Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
