can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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