I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
