I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I love having hate sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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