Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
