I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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