she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Your penis caused this!
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