Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
