Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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