help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
