I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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