toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
