Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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