i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
