Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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