things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
