When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need water and some morals
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
